Feb 9, 2012

Discussion: Self-Esteem Check

Picture it: I'm browsing a social media site, and I come across someone who is posting angrily about naturals. Apparently, said poster came across an article about 10 reasons to date a girl with natural hair. This apparently offended her, and led to her posting bitter responses that insinuated that natural hair was not as pretty as straight hair, and how happy she is to be relaxed because relaxed hair is prettier and HER man probably wouldn’t be with her if it wasn’t straight.

I know hair is an issue for women. However, some who aren't natural may not realize the fluctuations of esteem that some women go through when they decide to go natural. Why are you unhappy because I choose to wear my hair in it's natural state? If you read something positive and feel the need to make negative comments regarding the said thing, it indicates a lack of self-esteem. Those sneaky areas of low self-esteem may rise to the surface.

I love Jill Scott and think she's gorgeous, relaxed or natural.
Now that I’m happy and secure with myself and my kinky, curly hair, I do not feel the need to be a #teamnatural vigilante drafter. Also, I don't  feel the need put other people down because they decide to wear their hair in a way that doesn’t look like my hair.

There’s the old saying that ‘Hurt people hurt people’. Be introspective. If you see others happy about themselves (whether it is a physical trait or reaching a goal) and you cannot find it in yourself to be happy for them, fine. But if you feel the need to put them down, you may have low self-esteem. 

Be introspective. If this applies to you, find what makes you happy about your hair (or life, career, etc.) and pursue that. Whether it’s “I love feeling my hair blow in the wind and fall silkily onto my shoulders” or “I love feeling my hair blow in the wind and how it stays off my neck in the summer”, go for it. Do what it takes to make you happy with yourself so that you don't get angry at someone else's happy.
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